Traditions and friendships
Tomorrow is the 100 anniversary of Laconia Bike week here in NH. Millions of people will be here in NH and crowded into Weirs Beach, Meredith and many other places up here in the Lakes Region. Many places rely on the income that is generated every year from this event. It got me thinking about traditions and friendships and how they change or stay the same.
We all grew up with traditions and we tend to keep them going and we pass them on to our children. If we don’t have children we keep them up with just ourselves, friends, family, or partners. Many times we just don’t think about the tradition, we just keep doing them. There may come a day when you will say, “ why do I/we do this? I don’t really enjoy this. It does not fill me up or make any sense anymore.” When this happens you are growing into another phase. Growth by looking at what you are doing and making sense of where it falls into your life. We tend to think, “Well, we have always done it this way.” Does that make it right? Does that make it fulfilling? Do you even believe in the things you are doing?
Where we were in the past is not where we are now. What used to work then doesn’t always work now. That is okay. You have found other things that fill your cup. Other things that make more sense to you and you can make new traditions. It is more meaningful to acknowledge the change and move on then to keep the tradition going and feeling miserable.
Quick story:
I used to always decorate a tree every year for Christmas. Bulbs, lights, garland etc. I took time out to find the perfect tree, unpack all the carefully packed bulbs. There was planning and time taken out to decorate the tree together. A big too do. There are always presents underneath looking so inviting to the kids. We used to open one present on Christmas eve. Come Christmas morning we would open our stockings first before any family members got to the house. Now with all the kids gone and no one coming over it seems frivolous to do all that work of decorating and taking down. I love having a tree. So, our new tradition is going out on our property, finding a halfway decent tree, cut it, bring it home and decorate it with lights and garland and nothing else. It looks so beautiful and the lights bring the seasons good cheer to my mind. I feel warm and fuzzy inside. This is enough for me. I would have never thought I would be minimalist with my tree as it was such a big tradition in my home. I am different now than before and circumstances change. Instead of being sad about having no children in the house to do all the fun stuff with, I changed my perspective and the way I do things.
Life changes and nothing really stays the same. We learn what really matters to us as we grow and experience life. Many times the people we used to hang out with are just not in our frame of mind anymore because they are not changing on the level we are. That’s when friendships and/or intimate relationships drift apart. That is okay. It can be sad at times yet we know in our heart that they are not bringing what we need to our relationship. You probably are still friends, you just don’t hang out in the same way anymore. Knowing what you need to fulfill your life may not always have the same people in it for a long time. Just like those traditions.
People come in and out of our lives when we need them. Each person serves a purpose to help us grow within ourselves. Sometimes it’s by showing us different ways and sometimes it’s by being difficult and you learn a lesson. I know when I look back on some of my toughest relationships, I do not regret them. I forgive each of us for the difficulty we had and I learned a valuable lesson from it.
Life changes, people change, traditions change. This is life. By being adaptable and going with the flow, or making new traditions or friends you will keep moving forward. You will see what it is that you truly need and forgo those traditions that don’t fill your cup anymore and give you stress instead. It’s okay to move on from what you have always done. Take that leap and try a new tradition. Find a new place to meet new people. Change a career. Who knows. Your choices are really endless.
