Stay in the Present

We all have some sort of trauma in our lives. What matters is what you are doing with it now. We all store trauma in our bodies. When we are not actively working on it it eventually shows up. It shows up and pain or dis-ease.

We do need to sit down with a partner who is helpful in helping us heal. I am not saying it has to be a significant other. It can be anyone with whom you trust.

Someone who can sit quietly and listen and reflect back to you what you said. When we do this we realize that now in this present time that incident doesn't matter anymore. You are not there, you are here and are making your way in life. 

We are not victims. We are humans. The past is gone and your life is now. Making peace with the past and what happened is important, then moving forward it critical. If not, you can repeat the patterns and then feel you are doomed for failure. This is not the truth.

One of the ways is to change is to change your thinking about what happened and to recognize how you react when things trigger you from that past trauma. Lets take the past out of the present.

Example:  Someone raises their voice in a conversation because they are getting a little aggravated. You start to do what you can to resolve it even at the expense of not communicating how you feel. You are just people pleasing at this point. This might be because you are scared because when you were small your mom raised her voice at you and if kept quiet and did everything she said she would stop.

You now know that someone who raises their voice is a trigger for you. Now you are empowered to react differently in the situation. Instead of cowering and smoothing things over you can choose to handle the situation differently that aligns with your values.

Acknowledge that you are being triggered, what did you feel? What did you do in response to that feeling?

Then ask yourself: What from my past does this current experience remind me of?
Then pick three ways the past and present events are similar and three ways they are different. 

 When you were little you might not have had the resources or support that you needed to work through the trauma. Now, you have resources and support to work through difficult situations.
You are not that person any longer. You have the power to change and move on.

Now, To give yourself proof that the past is not happening to you now, find a way to respond to the current situation that's the opposite of how you would have responded in the past 

Give yourself some time to work through these. Give yourself grace as you develop the skills to change how you react. Keep taking those steps to improve your being. Your mind, body and soul will thank you. I thank you.